What You Need To Unlearn To Survive The Zombie Apocalypse

By Christian Dunsey

Zombie shows and movies abound for Americans lately. The Walking Dead, Warm Bodies, Shaun of the Dead, just to name a few.

Undoubtedly these shows made you think about what life would be like if the zombie apocalypse actually did occur. You might have talked with your friends, made jokes and partial plans about what you will do.
However…

If you are like most others, you think you have a zombie contingency plan. A unique and fool proof strategy you’ve spent hours contemplating that ensures you and your loved ones will stay alive in the event of a zombie apocalypse. The only problem? You’ve got the very same plan as everybody else: 1 you head to the gun shop, 2 then you get out of the city as soon as possible, 3 find a sturdy location to hole up in, 4 use your axe or sword anytime you can to conserve precious ammo and- 5 when the worst does come around and you are facing down a crowd of the relentless undead-focus, you take your time, aim cautiously and make every shot dead on.
Update!

Survival Business Card

You’re not likely to get past the first minute! Here’s why:

1. Storming the Gun Store

First things:You need a gun! The time for happy go lucky gun control went the window the second John Winchester returned from the afterlife to make a sandwich out of you. No matter how you felt prior to uprising, now you love the 2nd Amendment. You want the greatest gun available. Maybe there exists a gun that can empty a 1000 round clip a second, or just maybe there’s a gun that could turn those bullets into fireballs and all your prayers have been answered! Or maybe there exists a gun that shoots nano-bots that could eat through anything they come in contact with. But even if you have already the most futuristic firearms at your disposal, you’re still not ready. You need to arm everybody in your team, you need spares just in case, and you will also need ammo. In other words, you need to get to the gun store.

But so does everybody else.

The closest gun shop to your house is also the closest gun shop to a thousand other people’s houses, and at least a few dozen of them will get there before you. Assuming that the place isn’t already cleaned out, you will only be able to carry a limited amount with you.. Additionally, the owners of the store very likely had the same idea you had, except they want to keep you out and since owners like guns, they are quite capable of using them.

Now you and a thousand other people are on the exterior of a suburban fortress, shouting”pretty pleases… with cherries on top” at the heavily-armed, trained marksman inside. Not only are you probably not coming from the gun store with a shiny new weapon; you’d be lucky to get out of there without looking down the actual barrel of death. Strike one!

2. Get out of Town

A major city is the actual absolute worst place to be in the event of a zombie uprising. The population density alone spells trouble, so the farther you get away from civilization, the better! At the very first sign of trouble, you need to get the heck out of there. Actually, everybody does. And what happens when everybody in a city needs to get somewhere at the same time? Like, for example, during rush hr? That’s right: grid lock.Blindly following your knee-jerk flee response has dropped you straight in the heart of Mega Rush Hour, a terrible place where you sit futilely trapped in a confined space, surrounded by those who may or may not already be infected, but are certainly standing around looking delicious to the zombie army. You just wanted to get out as fast as possible, but now look at you: Stuck in an un-moving meat-line with a thousand other morsels. Strike two!

3. Your Hideout

Protection, food & water, are the three main resources necessary to sustain human life. So it stands to reason that you should simply find some place to hole up in and just stay there until the zombie apocalypse blows over… right?

Not Quite!

Trying to protect a stronghold only works if you find there is a possibility that the attacking force will stop at some point. But Zombies are not people, and they will not stop until they are stopped. They cannot be reasoned with, and the only supplies they want are stuck in the stronghold along with you.

Zombies don’t get bored, sad, or even impatient, they don’t need anything to help keep them alive (they’re already dead), and they’re not really known for their logical reasoning: They will not debate the cons of the attack. They just want brains. They will wait for people forever. But you will be depleted of supplies soon, and every day you stay put in your bunker is another day zombies pile up outside. Zombies are a threat because they multiply. All “holing up” in the stationary location does is make the zombies want you more. Strike three! Technically you are out, but lets move on.

4. Conserve Ammo: Use Melee Tools When Possible

The zombie apocalypse will likely be a rough place, and the majority of us manage to get emergency room-worthy injuries whenever we put together Sauder furniture. In short: You’re likely to have open wounds, and exploding zombie heads does spray a fair amount of blood around. So, since all body fluids infect, blood included, then getting a bite is the least of your worries. If you so much as have some sort of scrape, now you’re some sort of zombie. It’s much better to use up a little bit of your ammo supply, instead of risk taking a red shower in skull leavings from the infectious zombie. Strike four!

5. Aim for that Head!

Everybody knows that the only surefire way for you to kill a zombie is to destroy the brain, and we’ve already established that you’d like to be as far away as possible when you do that, so at some point in time you’re going to be shooting zombies in the head. Relax. It became OK for men to cry approximately the time you needed to blow your sister’s undead face apart.

Yes, headshots are the only method to kill the undead, but not the only method to stop them. A broken leg is not just a figure of speech; it’s still a leg that’s broken. As in, it doesn’t work anymore. Regardless of the amount of pain you are able to register, a shattered femur or even severed spine renders something essentially immobile. So quickly spraying waist-level bullets into an approaching onslaught is a far better idea compared to lining up headshots with regard to bonus points.

So what’s the end point here? A slow, crawling zombie is a zombie that is certainly easy to escape from. Obviously the more you can kill the better, but don’t waste time lining up perfect shots when you simply need to get away. Strike five!

The conclusion:

Now that you are done reading this you might be feeling like I just kicked your trike in the ditch. I blew some holes with your plans and opened up your eyes to just how badly you are prepared. Your zombie survival kit is malformed, and your plan is worse. The good news, however, is that you still have time to get ready. Since you need a survival kit for various other emergencies, start there. After you can start stocking up on guns and ammo. Then you can begin scouting your surrounding areas for any fall back point when you need to leave your home.

We know that taking care of your family, loved ones and friends is important to you. If you are reading this and feeling overwhelmed, don’t worry. We’re here to help! Sometimes simply identifying a personal priority list for getting prepared can ease your mind. Getting prepared is a journey. You can’t do it all and once, and even if you could, being prepared is not something you can do just once. Being prepared is a state of mind as much as it is a set of tools.

Article Source: What You Need To Unlearn To The Survive Zombie Apocalypse

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